Two Years and Runnin'

Wow! I just noticed that my blog is now two years old. Cool.

"The Kim-bab Enema" or "How to Screw a Waeguk in Five Steps or Less"

This is the CNU guide to screwing foreign teachers with their pants on:

Step 1: Hire inept, incompetent cronies for top level managerial and accounting positions.

Step 2: Allow said cronies to operate with little or no oversight.

Step 3: Find new and inventive ways to deduct money from foereign teacher's paychecks.

Step 4: Giggle behind hand or shrug shoulders as said foreign teachers rage about lost wages.

Step 5: Do victory shots of soju and bask in the praise of superiors for a job well done.

In the past eight months, every teacher at CNU (with the exception of the newbies who haven't received a paycheck yet) has been hosed by the incredible incompetence of the various CNU administration offices.

At the Chungnam Language Education Center we have an accountant who is so inept I'd be surpised if he could count to ten using both his fingers AND toes. Up until this guy got hired last summer, none of the teachers had a problem with receiving their pay. We got our regular pay and our overtime pay when we were supposed to and in the amount we were owed. Taxes were appropriately filed, and everything was hunky dory. Since this incredible boob was hired, there have been accounting gaffes every single month. I'm not talking minor slip-ups. I'm talking things like paychecks sent to the wrong accounts, paychecks late, paychecks short significant amounts, and severence checks withheld for no other reason than the guy forgot. I could forgive this if it happened in the first, maybe second month only, but these problems are EVERY month. a fine example of this is $700 was deducted from my January paycheck because the account "forgot" to take out taxes from my overtime pay during the 2006 fiscal year. In any other country this guy would've been fired. Hmmm.

Now the CNU housing administration is working on screwing me out of another $400 by saying that I didn't pay my utility bills for both January and February of 2006. "Bullshit!", I replied, and after about an hour of searching through piles of boxes and assorted papers, I found the receipts for the payments and handed them in. Problem solved, eh? Noooooooooooo! Today I find out that a) the administration cannot find the bank records for that time period and thus cannot validate my receipts, and b) the figures they came up with do not correspond to the figures on my receipts (although all my paperwork is in order), so they now want to charge me even more! I'm a patient man, but I swear to God if my March check is a penny short, I'm going to bust some heads.

All of this reminds me of the little surprise waiting for me after I had surgery on my knee last October when I found out that because I'm not a part of the CNU "faculty", the insurance the school provides doesn't cover anything beyond earwax removal.

I could continue this rant, but it's far too early in the semester to start hating Korea (that's usually reserved for the last couple of weeks of each semester). Some people will say that you have to have an open mind. It's a different culture and there is a different way of doing things. This is true of a lot of things here, and I respect that. However, accounting, payroll, and administrative record keeping are pretty standard things regardless of where you live. These guys aren't cooking the books, they're just complete and absolute buffoons who seem to have never mastered second grade math let alone how to use a calculator. It's mind-boggling.

Anyway, other than that, things are just peachy.

Two songs that pretty much some it up.

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON
Sunday Morning Coming Down

Well I woke up Sunday morning,
with no way to hold my head,
that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast,wasn't bad
so I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet,
for my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt...
And I shaved my face and combed my hair,
and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

I'd smoked my brain the night before
on cigarettes and songs that I'd been picking
But I lit my first, and watched a small kid
cursing at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
and caught the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken
And it took me back to something
that I had lost somehow, somewhere along the way

On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
wishing Lord that I was stoned
Cause there is something in a Sunday,
that makes a body feel alone
And there is nothing short of dying,
half a lonesome as the sound,
as the sleeping city sidewalks,
Sunday morning coming down

In the park I saw a daddy,
with w laughing little girl who he was swinging
And I stopped beside a Sunday school,
and listened to a song that they were singing
Then I headed back for home
and somewhere far away
a lonely bell was ringing
And it echoed through the canyons
like the disappearing dreams of yesterday

On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
wishing Lord that I was stoned
Cause there is something in a Sunday,
that makes a body feel alone
And there is nothing short of dying,
half a lonesome as the sound,
as the sleeping city sidewalks,
Sunday morning coming down

On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
wishing Lord that I was stoned
Cause there is something in a Sunday,
that makes a body feel alone
And there is nothing short of dying,half a lonesome as the sound
as the sleeping city sidewalks,
Sunday morning coming down


Alice In Chains
Down In A Hole

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom

Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorated like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now I'm a man
Who won't let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...

Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, outta control
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

And so it goes...

It's Thursday, March 1. Sigh. Today is the last day of relative freedom before the beginning of the spring semester. For reasons beyond my understanding, classes start tomorrow, Friday, rather than on Monday. The reason this really makes no sense is that, in reality, no one is going to show up for class. You see, the spring semester is when we get the greatest influx of brand new freshmen. This is generally a group of bug-eyed kids so out of their element that they usually can't find their ass with both hands the first couple of weeks (let alone the correct classroom to be in). I invariably have one or two students who, in week three of the semester, finally realise they've been in the wrong classroom the whole time.

I will have to say that a part of me is looking forward to the semester beginning. It's been a pretty boring couple of weeks since the winter session ended. At least I'll have something to focus on. I think the worst vacations are the ones where you don't go anywhere (one of my co-workers got so bored that, in the middle of the afternoon a week ago, he simply went to the airport and got on a plane to Thailand). Today is not going to be much different in the boredom department. If i actually get motivated enough to take a shower, I might get out of the house for a bit. It looks like a nice day.

Speaking of the weather. I'm frightened. Spring here started two weeks ago smack in the middle of February. This is not good. Why, you ask? Am I worried about global warming? Hell, no! I'm worried about summer starting in April and lasting until November. I HATE summer. Most of you understand heat and humidiity (even you Canucks out there) and a couple months of it is bearable to an extent. However, this year seems to be gearing up to be a doozy. It reminds me of my first full year in Korea. Summer started around mid-April and never ended. I thought I was going to die (and this is after living in Key West, FL, the heat & humidity capitol, for three years). An extended summer is also not good for both my students and co-workers. I tend to get pretty cranky when I'm overly hot.

Well, given the rambling incoherence of this post, I best quit while I'm ahead.