The year sputters to an end.

Tomorrow I start the slow meandering transition from vacation to work. It being a slow transition is a good thing. The main reason for this is that I have the opportunity to work myself back into a proper sleep schedule without any undo trauma. It's much easier to give up the habit of falling in bed at dawn and falling out of bed at 2 or 3 pm when you have a three or four days to work it out.

I'll actually be pretty happy to get back to work. For one, it gives something to do. I love Korea, but staying here for vacation is boring as hell. Maybe it's simply that I'm boring as hell. Who knows? Anyway, a little structure will be good. Plus, I do enjoy my job.

I was watching a movie tonight, Lord of War, which, while being a pretty good flick in it's own right, is a fairly cynical take on the world at large. It did make me think about a few things, though.

Not that long ago, maybe 10 years or so, I was a socially active person. I got out and volunteered for things. I drove a food van delivering food to the homeless living on the streets for a year. I volunteered at the DC Rape Crisis Center and the House of Ruth. I joined marches for issues I felt strongly about: the death penalty, a woman's right to choose, AIDS, and domestic violence. I did those things not because I was looking for kudos from people but because it felt right.

Now, well, I do nothing. I'm sure that a bunch of the folks that read this blog will have a multitude of ideas for how I could get back in the game. It's not what I'm looking for. In order to be effective at those kinds of things, you have to feel strongly about what you're doing. I don't feel strongly about anything these days (unless you consider the Washington Redskins an issue, but that just proves my point). I won't start a volunteer thing with a half-assed attitude simply because I know myself too well. I'll think it's a good idea and then crap out halfway through. That's not fair to anyone. I guess the thing I want to know is how this change came about. That, I suppose, is something that I'll just have to figure out for myself.