Lora Colon R.I.P.
A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a friend of mine informing me of the suicide of an ex-girlfriend, Lora Colon. Lora was one in a string of completely disasterous relationships for me. The news of her death didn't cause any great personal emotional shift. In fact, the only thing I really felt was a lack of surprise (if that's a feeling) that it happened. My feelings for Lora are very uncomplicated. I have none. At the end of the relationship Lora didn't burn the bridges between us, she nuked 'em (she tended to do this with most people).
However, the news left me thinking about the person Lora was and how she ended up dying what I can only imagine was a very lonely death.
Lora was a person who was never comfortable in her own skin. She was a beautiful woman who had suffered abuse in her life, but seemed drawn to abusive relationships. Lora had a huge ego and grand plans for herself but neither the will or ambition to achieve her dreams. She seemed to feel the world owed her something. However, when people went out of their way to help her or even simply do something nice for her, it often was thrown back in their face. She was a tortured soul.
My friend said that rumor had it that Lora was pretty much used up and living in a trailor on Stock Island in the Florida Keys; that drugs and life had taken their toll. She would have been in her mid-thirties by now and age and her circumstances most likely weighed heavily upon her.
I hope she's managed to find some peace at last.
posted by Unknown @ 8:48 AM
26 Comments:
so you're the reason my husband, Lora's another ex-boyfriend, is still stuck with the few thousand $ phone bill to South Korea from years ago :).
her suicide was no surprise for me either, although i always thought she would most likely od one day. but i was surprised about all the commotion her death caused here. nicest thing i ever heard anybody say about her was crazy bitch, but after her suicide everybody was suddenly running around like they lost their dearest person in the world. i guess the death brings out the hypocrite in lots of people.
I think what eric probably best sums up Lora best.
Though the only abuse she went through she put herself through. She would wildly claim abuse at the hands of her Ex Boyfriends, she claimed it of me. But the only abuse I know she went through was with Ray Wolf which was after Eric and she.
I'll always love her, but she was a crazy bitch.
I kinda figured she was into drugs when I saw a mug shot a year or so ago. She looked like hell. When she and I were together she was a borderline alcoholic but no drugs other then the occasional herb.
Lora was my best friend for a really long time. Everything that was written is true. I tried countless numbers times to help her but in the end it was no good. I can't say that it comes as a surprise that she killed herself, but in a way it leaves me with an empty feeling. All the help we (my mom and her ex mike included) tried to get her, made no diffrence in the end.
Lora and I had dated way back when she still took her depression meds that kept her in balance ( before Mike). toward the end of our relationship she stopped taking her lithium altogether and hence the beginning of her downward spiral and the eventual end to us.I had tried to keep in touch with her for a few years after and eventually lost touch. the rumors flew around for years about her, and some I beleive and some I dont. I was deeply saddend by the news that Lora took her own life, funny place to find out about it..... right here on somebodys blog. But as rumors fly around I really hope this is one also. I will always have a spot in my heart for lora, beleive it or not (shelie) I did really care for her and still do. I did alot of searching of vital records and obituaries and her name does not come up, so like I said I really hope that the possible suicide is only a rumor and she will read these posts and come to her senses. If she needs help she can search me on myspace, and i will do what i can for her.
After weeks of this bothering me, like I said she was my best friend, I have done a little research of my own. I have also enlisted other people to help and THERE ARE NO DEATH RECORDS FOR LORA MICHELLE COLON. I even spoke to the Monroe county medical examiner. So if somebody could tell me what's going on here, I would be greatful!
I did a number of google searches for any obits or reports as well and found nothing. I originally heard the news from a friend of mine who stopped in at Schooner Wharf (we both used to work there) and was asked to relay the info to me.
This is Lora's sister. She is, in fact, deceased; I saw the body myself. I don't know how long it takes public records to become public, but the medical examiner had express directions from the family and the sherrif not to release information until the investigation was over. The case was only closed a few weeks ago now.
Eric, you were one of the rare good ones, and of course she always pushed or threw the good ones away. I shared your sense of inevitability upon getting the news of her death. I also miss her terribly and regret that we will never have the chance to reconcile some of our differences. Thank you, Eric, for trying. Trying to see and help her see the good in herself and the world. Trying to love her. Loving Lora was never easy. Pain was always close behind. But I never stopped; I will always love my sister.
Tonnyia
Tonnyia~ If you could possibly contact me, please do. You and I never had any problems. myspace.com/shelie_monster
I knew Lora a short time. She was the nicest person, but to be honest, she was very unstable. She was a perpetual victim of everyone she knew. She drank like a fish and she died alone in the bedroom of a house she was staying at for free. It left her boyfriend an emotional wreck--which is still true almost a year later. She also left lots of pieces for people to pick up after her. I forgive her for what she has done to me, but I know many people who cannot forgive what she has done. Her suicide was the most self-centered and thoughtless act she could have done. The damaged emotions she has left behind will not soon heal.
I went to school with Lora & Tonnyia and remember Lora as being jealous of her older sis as many are. I would like to confirm this is the same Lora.... What town did she grow up in?
Thom__Merrilin@hotmail.com
I don't understand any of this. I just need proof that she is dead. Please just somebody give me proof so I can let this go....
I just did a search through Monroe County Florida's Clerks office. There is no proof of Lora's death. If this alleged suicide happened almost a year ago and the invegistation has been closed, there shuold be some type of public record and there is not. Which makes me believe this is yet another one of Lora's games.
It took me a long time to understand and accept this. When I first read it, the first thing I thought was I could have helped her.
Reading Eric's post though, I know the best I could have done was forestalled it. Lora didn't want help and refused medication.
At any rate, I have contacted Monroe County and after a number of phone calls, I was able to confirm this is true. Lora hung herself on January 23, 2008.
She was a crazy bitch, but she also had a beautiful person inside, unfortunately few ever saw it, many who did abused it, and that is why those who say the only side they saw was the bitch. She had walls that I time and time again tried to break down, occasionally being successful, but if I wasn't diligent in sticking to keeping them down and comforting her, they went back up pushing everyone away.
Michelle, you know how to reach me, via my sister. I have a new myspace as well and will see if I can readd you.
Hey Eric,
It has been two years that she has been gone. I would like to share with you the obituary I wrote for her memorial. Please drop me an email if you like. And hey, congratulations on becoming a teacher in Asia.
Leigh....from the Schooner Wharf days.
cleighpujado@gmail.com
I have hear the rumors circulating amongst those friends from years ago. I suppose with a class reunion on the horizon again, it would stir up questions about Lora possibly passing. Some have speculated about if it is "another stunt"......
Lora was a "tortured soul", never loving herself & barely able to love anyone around her. I was once her friend years ago. I worked through her metaphoric barriers & waded through the drama (there is always drama at 15-16). I worked hard to call her friend, but in the end I gave up. I had taken one to many daggers in the back from her & grew tired of proving myself to her. But never the less, there was some good in her - when we were young. She could have been a strong & powerful woman had she just believed in herself & loved herself.
Regardless, tired of rumors & speculation; I located her obituary listed in The Key West Citizen news paper. I a posting it here & will also on FB. I hope this gives solace & peace to those that speculate, wonder and wish.
ObitsArchive.com
Paper: Key West Citizen, The (FL)
Deceased: Lora Michelle ColÓn
Date: February 10, 2008
LORA MICHELLE COLÓN
Lora was born in Newport News, Va., on Sept. 8, 1972, and passed away in her
beloved adopted home, Key West, Fla., on Thursday, Jan. 24, 2008. She is
survived by her mother and step-father, Karen and Steve Alwin; sister, Tonnyia
Andrus; brother, Richard ColÓn; nephew, Talon; and nieces Sarah, Meghan, and
Allison.
A memorial celebration will be held from 5 to 7 p.m. Monday, Feb. 11, 2008, at
Caroline's. By family request, in lieu of flowers, please donate to the Key West
SPCA or ASPCA.
This is Tonnyia's ex-husband, the father of our son, Lora's nephew. I can assure anyone who is at sea as to whether or not she died that Tonnyia and their mother both viewed the body. She is gone. I have no explanation for the lack of public record, other than to say the family specifically requested it be kept private, until at least after the investigation into her death was completed, Perhaps someone dropped the ball as far as releasing the info when it was time. Lora is gone, that is immutable. Her family; Tonnyia, their mother and her brother loved her very much, despite any flaws. She is gone now.
Michael
Much of what has been said here is true. Much of it, however, pissed me off.
First of all, let's put to rest one thing. Her death was not any kind of stunt. It was real. It happened. And it sucked.
I was friends with Lora from my very first days in Key West. Sometimes we were closer, sometimes more distant, but always friends.
Did she have issues? No one's denying that. But "crazy bitch" was NOT the nicest thing ever said about her. She had the ability to be very warm, very giving, very friendly, and very humorous.
Was her suicide inevitable? That is a matter for debate. But the fact is that there were questions at the time as to whether or not it even WAS a suicide. Many of her friends believed that her boyfriend at the time staged it. Several others believed that she did take her own life, but after having been driven to it by him. I will reserve my own opinions on this matter...those who know me know what I think.
I have heard from various people, and seen written here, that she fabricated allegations of abuse. I cannot and will not comment on her prior relationships, because frankly, I don't know. What I DO know is that I saw her the day after her last boyfriend beat the crap out of her. Many things can be debated. The idea that this beating was self-inflicted absolutely cannot. I saw Lora, and there is only one way that kind of physical damage can happen. I also dealt with a lot of aftermath in the time after that beating and leading up to her death, trying to help her get out of that relationship. Trying, as it turns out, in vain.
I also met her boyfriend during this difficult time. Frankly, any opinions or comments he may have on this subject are completely empty, worthless, and meaningless to me. My opinion of him is well known to pretty much everyone who knows me. Including him.
Say what you will about Lora. She was not perfect. No one is. She had her flaws. We all do. But know this: there were definitely people that loved her and cared for her, that called her their friend, that were saddened and angered by her death, and that do not believe that the way she died was either inevitable or unavoidable.
I am one of those people. And I make no apologies for it.
Alan, thank you for sticking up for Lora. besides from the loving commetns form her family, it seems like no one really cared about calling her crazy and attributing her death to that. I knew her for a short time too andI believe like you do. I really wonder why they insist that this was a suicide.I have alot of questions. is there anyWAY that i casn get in touch with you?
Being that I knew Lora back in Streamwood Illinois and since I have recently heard of her passing I must confess to not knowing anything that has happened to her since 1989/1990. But what i do know is that She was a messed up young woman with serious problems that were neglected from not only her family but Her Friends as well (This includeds me).
I dated Lora Colon back in High School (1987ish maybe) and I must admit it was only for the main reason teenage boys date, I heard She was easy.
While I dated Her I found this not to be the case and I liked Her for who she was and yes I never got past second base. For reasons unknown to me at the time She ran away from home- If memory serves she made it to Pa. in search of an old boyfriend whose name I do not know. Somewhere on the way a Trucker picked her up hichhiking and raped her- I know this because she called me collect shortly afterward, I insisted she call the police and call me back- when she did I could hear the sirens on her end.
She returned back to school about a week later and was taking pills for a STD she had been given.
We stopped dating and were barly friends after her return.
A few years went by and I found out a friend of mine was dating her and they needed a ride to a hotel, since the two of them were almost homeless at the time I remember giving them a ride and that was the last I ever saw of her.
How or when she made it to Fl. I don't know. The person she became I will never know- but the person she was when we were younger I will always remember.
If anyone reads this please let me know I would like a photo of an old friend so if you have one I would like it.
jrichdriver@gmail.com
Ok, well I'm not going to be mean to anyone in the above posts. I'll just say my peace and move on.
I knew Lora in High School and some afterward 9 I was in the Marines and would see her when I was on leave). The times I shared with her were fun and wonderful. She was an intelligent, caring and sweet woman. We would have conversations for hours at a time and shared many views on our future wants and wishes. The entire time I knew her ( 5-6 years) she was never crazy. Sad and depressed, yes, but no worse for wear than some of the people I knew in School and life since then. Whatever she had come after our knowing each other is very sad. If anything above mentioned is true I feel very bad FOR HER. and my only wish is that I could have had a chance to see her grow into a woman. It seems from the above that minus her sister and brother in law, I will be the only one missing her greatly.
With that I say this, To Lora, I miss you and hope nothing but peace for you. I will always have fond and wonderful thoughts of you.
With Love,
Roger
Anonymous, if you want to, you can contact me at schlagerman@hotmail.com.
Roger, her sister and brother in law are certainly not the only people that will be missing her greatly. I am neither, and I will. And I know many other people in Key West that feel the same as I do.
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What is wrong with all of you? I loved her and took care of her even when she wouldn't take care of herself. I grilled steaks, drew her a bath, she kissed me and went into her bedroom and hung herself with a belt on the end of the headboard. That's how she left this life. I was watching tv while running a bath. No violence, no wrongful death. She hung herself after she kissed me goodbye.
You are nothing but a drunk deadbeat mother who abandoned her child in Key West Kat.
Who the Hell are you ??? Lora and I lived together for 14 months and i don't you ?! You're a typical Key West piece of shit just like all the rest who came out from under their fucking bridges or crawled out of the rotting mangroves claiming you were " best friends " , trying to get sympathy beers and anything else you fucking dirt merchants can hustle someone for .
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