AIIIIGH!!! Just shoot me now!!

Ahhh draft day. The brain mush...er...trust at the Washington Redskins draft HQ, football masterminds Daniel Snyder and Vinnie Cerrato showed their football acumen in exhilerating style.

The Skins are in desperate need of fresh blood on both the offensive and defensive lines as well as in the secondary. So what did The Danny and his rabid chihuahua Viinnie do with their first three picks? Naturally, they picked two wide receivers and a tight end.

The last time I looked, the Skins had a bunch of quality receivers and a top tier tight end. I'm all for getting good receivers, however, here's the rub: WHEN YOUR QB IS SPENDING 90% OF HIS TIME RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE OR PICKING DIRT OUT OF HIS TEETH BECAUSE THE OFFENSIVE LINE IS OLD AND INJURY PRONE AND CAN'T STOP A BUNCH OF GRADE-SCHOOLERS, WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIGH!!!!!!

Lora Colon R.I.P.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a friend of mine informing me of the suicide of an ex-girlfriend, Lora Colon. Lora was one in a string of completely disasterous relationships for me. The news of her death didn't cause any great personal emotional shift. In fact, the only thing I really felt was a lack of surprise (if that's a feeling) that it happened. My feelings for Lora are very uncomplicated. I have none. At the end of the relationship Lora didn't burn the bridges between us, she nuked 'em (she tended to do this with most people).

However, the news left me thinking about the person Lora was and how she ended up dying what I can only imagine was a very lonely death.

Lora was a person who was never comfortable in her own skin. She was a beautiful woman who had suffered abuse in her life, but seemed drawn to abusive relationships. Lora had a huge ego and grand plans for herself but neither the will or ambition to achieve her dreams. She seemed to feel the world owed her something. However, when people went out of their way to help her or even simply do something nice for her, it often was thrown back in their face. She was a tortured soul.

My friend said that rumor had it that Lora was pretty much used up and living in a trailor on Stock Island in the Florida Keys; that drugs and life had taken their toll. She would have been in her mid-thirties by now and age and her circumstances most likely weighed heavily upon her.

I hope she's managed to find some peace at last.

I guess quitting smoking might be a relative thing

My statement to the public must be re-phrased.

I quit smoking AT HOME.

This is a good thing. Really.

I smoked more sitting in front of the computer wasting my days away than I did at any other time. I chain smoked like a motherfucker (sorry mom for the language, but I'm drunk and well...). I would say 70% of the two packs I smoked a day were smoked in my house.

I can't say I quit smoking. I have to be honest about it. I keep a pack of smokes at school for those frustrating, my-students-are-idiots days. I keep a pack at Santa's because, face it, I ain't gonna drink and not smoke.

Tonight, I probably smoked a pack at Santa's (I have the day off tomorrow). I didn't, and won't bring smokes home. Surprisingly enough, I'm not bothered by not smoking at home. I don't miss it. My apartment certainly smells better.

Will I quit smoking all together? Honestly don't know. I could probably cut out the smokes I have at school. However, drinking and smoking go too well together. Again, Mom, I'm sorry, but I ain't quitting drinkin'!

And now to the song of the day. This is a definite "desert island" song:

ALTHEA
Grateful Dead

I told Althea I was feeling lost, lacking in some direction.
Althea told me upon scrutiny that my back might need protection.
I told Althea that treachery was tearing me limb from limb.
Althea told me better cool down boy, settle back, easy Jim.

You may be Saturday's child, all alone, moving with a tinge of grace.
You may be a clown in the burying ground, or just another pretty face.
You may meet the fate of Ophelia, sleeping and perchance to dream.
Honest to the point of recklessness, self-centered in the extreme.

Ain't nobody messing with you, but you, your friends are getting most concerned.
Loose with the truth, baby, its your fire, but baby don't get burned.
When the smoke has cleared, she said, that's what she said to me.
Gonna want a bed to lay your head and a little sympathy.

There are things you can replace, and others you cannot.
The time has come to weigh those things.
This space is getting hot, you know this space is getting hot.

I told Althea I'm a roving son, and I was born to be a bachelor.
Althea told me, okay, that's fine, so now I'm trying to catch her.
Can't talk to you without talking to me, we're guilty of the same old thing.
Been thinking alot about less and less and forgetting the love we bring.